


Frame The Halves And Call Them Brothers

by seasalttoffee



Series: SBI + Tubbo [3]
Category: Minecraft - Fandom, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Found Family, Heartache, Non-Graphic Violence, Songfic, The other characters tagged in this are all just briefly mentioned, Tommy-centric, kind of, possibly fluffy, probs not beta read, the family is eluded too, this was written originally on a phone im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-11
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27501565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seasalttoffee/pseuds/seasalttoffee
Summary: Tommy looks back on memories involving the rise and fall of L’Manburg and the people he considered family.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Series: SBI + Tubbo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2012710
Comments: 12
Kudos: 54





	Frame The Halves And Call Them Brothers

**Author's Note:**

> this is by no means how tommy actually feels by the way, this is a characterization

**That's it, it's split, it won't recover.**

Tommy remembers the feeling he got after he found out L’Manburg was lost. That tearing feeling in his chest. He remembers it all to well. He remembers the heartache while watching the walls get torn to shreds. The hundreds of hours of progress flushed down the drain in a matter of seconds right infront of his face. He remembers the rage he felt, and how Wilbur had to calm him down. How the older man had hugged his right hand man tightly and told him to calm down. He tried listening. All that managed to do was make him more frustrated but he covered it up the best he could. 

**Just frame the halves and call them brothers. Find your fathers and your mothers.**

He remembers the excitement before L’manburg even existed. Before Wilbur had included him in his plan. He remembers the calm before the storm. How he had just introduced Tubbo to his makeshift family. He remembers how nervous both of them had been, and how he wouldn’t stop squeezing Tubbo’s hand. He denies that every happened obviously. He remembers the relief in Techno and Wilbur’s faces, and the approval in Phil’s. His dad and brothers accepted Tubbo. The relief that filled him at that moment was amazing.

**If you remember who they are.**

Tommy remembers the bitter feeling he got once Techno and Phil stopped showing up as much. The sour taste it left in his mouth, knowing that he became that much more dependant on Tubbo and Wilbur. How easy it was to just lose himself in the friendships he had made with everyone on the Dream SMP. 

**Over and over, they call us their friends. Can't we find something else to pretend? Like nobody won and we're safe at the end.**

He remembers the deranged way Wilbur told him that everyone had lied to them. That everyone was still lying to them. That no one cared. He remembers the intense urge to vomit and scream and hit the older male. He remembers the anxiety he felt after convincing himself that Wilbur might be right and the back and forth internal conversation he had with himself that no one would do that. Niki wouldn’t lie. Tubbo wouldn’t. They cared. Didn’t they?

**In the darkness, the film machine's spinning. So let's leave it on.**

He remembers the colours souring through the sky like a melancholy dream. The intense scream Tubbo had let out when Technoblade shot him with the fireworks. He remembers the immediate anger that coursed through his veins, and the intense grief that came with knowing that Tubbo was hurt. And that Techno was the one to hurt him. He remembers the nausea that came with using the ender pearl he had and how that feeling increased upon seeing Tubbo clutching his arm, face etched with fear. He remembers his vision going red with anger, and Niki’s screams of horror, and Wilbur’s sickening silence. He doesn’t remember how he ended up back at Pogtopia.

**We'll be out in the street before anyone knows that we're gone.**

He remembers the relief he felt upon hearing that Tubbo also enjoyed the idea of running away and the excitement that came along with knowing that, if needed, they could just leave. The two of them. They would have everything they ever needed and they would have nothing to fear. He remembers Tubbo’s smile, wide and excited and childish. How naïve he was to think they could have ever done that. 

**That's it, it's split, it can't recover. Just frame the halves and call them a whole.**

He remembers how broken their misfit group of L’Manburgians had been during the war and how Wilbur was so strong for all of them. He remembers overhearing a conversation between Fundy and Niki, and he remembers seeing Niki cry. He remembers never wanting to see any of his friends cry ever again. He agreed to duel Dream just so he could get independence for the nation that needed it. He remembers the searing pain of the arrow piercing his shoulder, and the gasps of shock from his friends. He remembers hearing the sick bastards in the other side cheer. He had lost. So he gave up his discs. He got independence for them. He made everything okay. At least he thought he did.

**And chip at the bricks and fill up your pockets with the pieces of the wall that you stole.**

He remembers the ringing in his ears as the explosion Eret set off blew up their base. He remembers the air getting knocked out of him as he hit the water back first, and the panic that immediately arose in him as he frantically searched for Tubbo and Niki after seeing Fundy and Wilbur come up to the surface. The two of them got to the surface eventually, but the fear of losing more of his friends burned deep in his bones. He remembers the frustration he felt upon seeing the strong walls of L’Manburg crack and crumble, chunks of the wall falling into the small lake. He remembers the feeling of betrayal and intense grief, knowing Eret was no longer with them. Maybe he never was.

**The hunt is on, everyone's chasing. Everyone's chasing a shot. A shot rings out, nobody wants it. Nobody wants it to stop**

He remembers the maniacal grin Schlatt wore on his face as he banished Wilbur and him, an the fear that overtook him and Ponk, Purpled, and Punz rose out of their seats, swords raised. He remembers the panic that bubbled to the surface of his brain as Wilbur grabbed his hand, sprinting out of their old home. He remembers hearing Wilbur scream and the blood that rushed out of his leg where an arrow pierced. He remembers having to clean out the wound using a river bank, wrapping it tightly with the sleeve of his shirt that he tore off. He remembers the intense adrenaline rush that didn’t wear off for days. How it kept him up at night, making him irritable and grumpy.

**That’s it, it’s split, it won’t recover. Just frame the halves and call them brothers.**

He remembers the consistent arguments he and Wilbur got into, the screaming matches that lasted for days. He remembers Techno joining their side to help them fight, only to deal with his two younger siblings trying to rip each other’s heads off. He remembers the sleepless nights, wishing he could take it all back, make it better, and apologize for the harsh words. But Wilbur needed to know he was being insane. He needed to know. Tommy couldn’t let anyone get out of hand right now. He remembers the stress that came with having to deal with discreetly talking to Tubbo. He missed Niki and Tubbo and Fundy, hell even Eret. He missed his family. 

**Find your fathers and your mothers, if you remember who they are.**

He remembers the intense loneliness that came with living in a ravine with little to know human contact. He remembers the intense desire to be held by his dad, Phil, like a stupid little kid. He remembers laughing bitterly to himself, knowing that both his older brothers have gone power crazy and the realization that he couldn’t actually stop them unless he put himself in harms way. He remembers feeling scared. He remembers feeling like a little kid in the dark again. He wanted his dad. Where was his dad?

**If you remember who they are. If you remember, if you remember, if you remember**

He remembers recognizing that he was changing. That his character was growing, his personality becoming more resilient and persistent. How he felt strong but terrified. He remembers the look in Wilbur’s eyes as he lost himself. How he knew, that as soon as Dream gave his older brother that tnt, Wilbur was spiralling, diving straight into the rabbit hole with reckless abandon. He remembers how terrifying it was to see Dream actually step in to let his brother spiral like that. How the masked man did nothing upon noticing that Wilbur had lost control. He knew, in that very moment, that he was the only one who actually cared about the well being of his friends anymore. He knew. And he couldn’t stop it.

**If you remember.**

Tommy remembers the stress, the anxiety, the fear. He remembers all of it. He remembers the betrayal and terror and anger. The rage. The amount of emotions he had felt. The feeling of everything sinking out of his grasp. He was losing everything dear to him. It hurt. So badly. How was he supposed to make it stop?

**If you remember who they are.**


End file.
